Fear

Your so afraid. Ha! Afraid of space, afraid of humanity. Perhaps you just don't understand; Perhaps I don't understand. I run to human relationships, to human touch. I fear not being embraced, I fear not being loved. You love your electronic life because you can push away your problems with the push of a button. I would love you if you would take me in your arms by the look in my eye. Yet you will only ask why.

STOP

I get so frustrated STOP I have played the mother all my conscious life STOP Never asking to be cared for STOP I am done fixing everyone else; it is my turn now STOP Yet You believe I am immaturely entertained, immaturely creative STOP A child's mind is not on earth rather in their own creativity STOP I am the child being shooed while you work at pointless tasks STOP Do you not want to fix me; adventure with me? No? stop.

Give it a Chance?

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." Johnny Depp

I have tried to close myself away. The minute I open I know I will be snapped right back to a low, and its not just my heart, it effects all of me. I close my eyes, and just feel, and it feels right. A little more so than last time, but in the end last time, it hurt. Its so right, and so wrong. Its wrong because I want to push it away. I struggle, I try to stay low and avoid the bullets. Avoid getting too attatched. Getting bound together with tape like two forks. Two forks taped are up from two spoons glued. A whole diffrent meaning. Glue is slick and before it dries you can slide away, you can't slide away from binding. Its a struggle. Do I give it a Chance (capitalized, it used to be a proper noun), no chance ( undermined by my brokeness)?

Apocalypse

If I cant survive visiting my high schools newspaper with out turning into a zombie, I will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse. 

Christmas 2011

I think all I needed was a little Christmas spirit! Say hello to my Charlie Browns tree! Coming home from college was a little bit of a slump. I didn't have very much Christmas spirit, but when I saw my baby tree, I could FEEL Christmas! Merry Christmas, And a happy new year!

Fin

Two people never have the same plan. I have found this through experience, painful experience. You might want somethig badly but there are people who can get in the way, or foil your plans. Some plans are worth fighting for but this one I am giving up on. No more trying, He is not worth it!

What to do???

Three days till spring break, after break I have 38 days left of school. I cant wait for it to be over, it has seemed to be takeing much to long. Footloose is over, but soon we will be putting on a dinner theatre. I have the auction to keep working on but after that I have sooo much free time, I have no clue what I will do with myself.... maybe I can start job shopping again.

                               ~Grace